Sex and Relationship Glossary

Sex and Relationship Glossary

A Glossary for Sexual Wellness, Connection and Healing

This resource will help you to gain an understandings of terms associated with sexual well-being, relationships and mental health.

A
A-Spot
Also known as the anterior fornix erogenous zone (AFE zone), it is an area deep inside the vagina on the front wall, theorised to be highly sensitive and potentially pleasurable when stimulated.
Abstinence
A voluntary choice to refrain from engaging in sexual activity, typically until a specific time or within a specific context, often motivated by personal, cultural, religious, or health reasons.
Affor-dating
The act of engaging in dating activities while being mindful of and managing one’s financial resources and limitations.
Agender
A term used to describe individuals who do not identify with any gender.
Akoisexual
Individuals who experience sexual attraction but do not want it to be reciprocated.
Anal Play
Refers to engaging in activities that involve the stimulation, exploration, or penetration of the anus for sexual pleasure or exploration. It can involve various forms of stimulation, such as finger penetration, the use of anal toys, or anal intercourse, and can be enjoyed by individuals of different genders and sexual orientations.
Anal Sex
Sexual activity involving penetration of the anus, typically with a penis, fingers, sex toys, or other objects. It can be a pleasurable experience for individuals who engage in it, but it is important to prioritise communication, consent, and proper preparation to ensure comfort and minimise the risk of injury or discomfort.
Anchor Partner
A term used to describe a primary partner who provides emotional stability and support for a solo poly individual.
Androgyny
The combination of masculine and feminine characteristics or qualities in a person’s appearance, behaviour, or identity, challenging traditional gender norms.
Anorgasmia
Is a medical term that refers to the inability or difficulty to achieve orgasm despite adequate sexual stimulation. It can be a temporary or long-term condition and can affect both men and women. Anorgasmia may be caused by a variety of physical or psychological factors, including certain medications, hormonal imbalances, chronic illnesses, depression, anxiety, trauma, or relationship problems.

Anorgasmia can be a frustrating and distressing condition for those who experience it, and it can impact their sexual satisfaction and overall quality of life. Treatment options may vary depending on the underlying cause of anorgasmia and may include medication adjustments, counseling or therapy, lifestyle changes, or the use of sex aids or devices. It is important for individuals experiencing anorgasmia to speak with their healthcare provider to determine the best course of treatment.
Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)
A mental health condition characterised by a persistent pattern of disregarding and violating the rights of others. Individuals with ASPD may exhibit a lack of empathy, manipulative behavior, impulsivity, and a disregard for societal norms and rules.
Anxiety
A persistent and excessive worry or fear about future events, often accompanied by physical symptoms such as restlessness, racing heart, and difficulty concentrating. It can interfere with daily functioning and cause significant distress. Anxiety disorders encompass various conditions, including generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and specific phobias. Treatment options for anxiety include therapy, medication, and self-help strategies.
Anxious Attachment
A specific style of attachment in relationships where an individual tends to experience a heightened need for reassurance, fear of abandonment, and difficulty with trust and emotional regulation. People with an anxious attachment style may seek excessive closeness, have a fear of rejection, and may exhibit clingy or demanding behavior in relationships.
Aromantic
A term used to describe individuals who do not experience romantic attraction to others.
Arousal
The physiological and psychological state of heightened sexual excitement or readiness for sexual activity.
Asexual (Ace)
A term used to describe individuals who do not experience sexual attraction to others.
Attachment Styles
Patterns of emotional and behavioral responses that individuals develop in relationships based on their early attachment experiences. The main attachment styles are secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganised, each influencing how individuals form and maintain relationships, regulate emotions, and seek closeness or distance in interpersonal connections.
Attachment Theory
A psychological framework that explores how early attachment experiences between infants and their caregivers shape an individual’s patterns of relating and forming relationships throughout their lives. It highlights the importance of secure attachment for healthy emotional development and provides insights into attachment styles, such as secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganised, which influence how individuals seek closeness, handle intimacy, and respond to separation or threat in relationships.
Autonomic Nervous System
A division of the peripheral nervous system that regulates involuntary bodily functions and responses, such as heart rate, breathing, digestion, and hormone secretion. It consists of 2 main branches – the sympathetic nervous system which prepares the body for action in response to stress or danger, and the parasympathetic nervous system which promotes relaxation and restoration.
Autosexual
Refers to an individual who experiences sexual attraction, desire, or arousal primarily or exclusively towards oneself. It can involve engaging in self-pleasure, self-exploration, or deriving sexual gratification from one’s own body or image.
Avoidant Attachment
A specific style of attachment in relationships where an individual tends to avoid or downplay emotional intimacy, independence, and vulnerability. People with an avoidant attachment style may have difficulty with closeness, fear of dependency, and a tendency to emotionally withdraw or engage in distancing behaviors in relationships.
B
BDSM
BDSM is an acronym that stands for Bondage and Discipline (B&D), Dominance and Submission (D&S), and Sadism and Masochism (S&M). BDSM is a broad term that encompasses a range of sexual practices and activities that involve the consensual exchange of power, Dominance, and submission.

Bondage and Discipline (B&D) refers to the use of restraints, such as ropes or handcuffs, to restrict a person’s movement and enforce discipline. Dominance and Submission (D&S) involves consensually giving or receiving control over one’s actions or decisions, with one partner acting as the Dominant and the other as the submissive. Sadism and Masochism (S&M) involves consensual acts of inflicting or receiving physical or psychological pain, often in a sexual context.

BDSM is typically practiced by individuals who have a mutual interest in exploring power dynamics and alternative forms of sexual expression. It is important to note that all BDSM activities should be safe, sane, and consensual, and that communication, negotiation, and informed consent are key components of healthy and fulfilling BDSM practices.
Bacterial Vaginosis
A common vaginal infection caused by an imbalance in the natural bacteria within the vagina, resulting in symptoms such as abnormal discharge and odour.
Barriers
Strategies used in polyamorous relationships to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted infections.
Beige Flags
Subtle signs or indications in a relationship that may hint at potential compatibility issues or concerns.
Benching
A term used to describe when someone keeps a romantic interest “on the bench” as a backup option, without committing to a relationship.
Betrayal Trauma
The psychological and emotional distress experienced when a person’s trust is violated by someone they are close to or dependent upon, such as a partner, family member, or close friend. It can occur in situations involving infidelity, deception, or any form of significant betrayal, leading to feelings of betrayal, confusion, and a loss of safety and security within the relationship.
Bicurious
A term used to describe a person who is questioning or exploring their potential attraction or interest in both genders or sexes.
Bisexual
Is a term used to describe a person who is attracted to people of more than one gender.
Blow Job (fellatio)
A sexual act involving oral stimulation of the penis, typically involving the partner using their mouth and lips to provide pleasurable sensations and potentially lead to orgasm for the person receiving the stimulation. It is a consensual activity enjoyed by individuals of various sexual orientations and can be incorporated into a range of sexual experiences.
Blue Balls
A slang term used to describe a temporary condition in which the testicles may feel uncomfortable or achy due to prolonged sexual arousal without orgasm or release. It is caused by increased blood flow and congestion in the genital area, and the discomfort typically subsides with time or sexual release.
Body Image
An individual’s perception, thoughts, and feelings about their own body, often influenced by societal standards and personal experiences.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
A mental health condition characterised by difficulties in regulating emotions, unstable relationships, impulsive behavior, and an unstable sense of self. Individuals with BPD often experience intense emotional ups and downs, have a strong fear of abandonment, and may engage in self-destructive behaviors or self-harm. BPD can significantly impact relationships, daily functioning, and overall well-being. Treatment typically involves a combination of therapy, medication, and support to help individuals manage symptoms, develop healthier coping strategies, and improve their quality of life.
Boundaries
The personal limits, guidelines, or rules that individuals establish to protect their physical, emotional, and psychological well-being. They define what is acceptable or comfortable for an individual in terms of their interactions, relationships, and experiences, and serve as a way to establish and maintain personal autonomy and self-care.
Breadcrumbing
A term used to describe when someone sends occasional flirtatious messages or signals to a romantic interest without any intention of actually pursuing a relationship.
Breath Play
A sexual activity that involves intentionally restricting or controlling one’s breathing for the purpose of enhancing sexual arousal or sensation. It can involve methods such as choking, strangulation, or using devices to limit airflow, but it carries significant risks and should only be practiced with proper knowledge, consent, and caution to ensure safety.
Burnout
A state of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion caused by chronic stress, particularly related to work or caregiving responsibilities. It is characterized by feelings of fatigue, detachment, cynicism, and a diminished sense of accomplishment. Burnout can result from prolonged periods of stress, lack of control or support, and an imbalance between demands and resources. Recovery from burnout often requires a combination of self-care, setting boundaries, seeking support, and making changes to reduce stress and restore well-being.
Butt Plug
A sex toy designed for anal play that typically features a tapered shape for easy insertion and a flared base to prevent it from getting fully inserted into the rectum. It can provide a feeling of fullness and stimulation to the anal area, and is often used during masturbation, foreplay, or sexual intercourse.
C
Casual Sex
Sexual activity or encounters that occur without a committed or long-term emotional relationship, typically with a focus on physical pleasure rather than emotional attachment.
Catfishing
A term used to describe when someone presents themselves online as a different person or with a different identity than they actually are.
Chlamydia
A common sexually transmitted infection caused by the bacterium Chlamydia trachomatis, often resulting in genital or urinary symptoms if left untreated.
Chosen Family
A group of individuals who are not biologically related but who have formed close, supportive relationships with each other.
Circumcision
The surgical removal of the foreskin, the protective covering of the head of the penis. It is commonly practiced for cultural, religious, or medical reasons and can have various implications for hygiene, aesthetics, sexual sensation, and cultural identity, and is a topic of ongoing debate and discussion.
Cisgender
A term used to describe individuals whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth.
Clitoris
The clitoris is a highly sensitive organ located at the front of the female vulva, where the inner labia meet. It is an erectile structure and is considered the main organ of female sexual pleasure. The clitoris contains thousands of nerve endings and can become engorged with blood during sexual arousal, leading to sensations of pleasure and, for some women, orgasm.

The external portion of the clitoris, also called the glans clitoris, is a small, pea-shaped bump that is covered by a hood of skin called the clitoral hood. The clitoris also has internal parts, including the clitoral shaft, which extends into the body, and the clitoral legs, which are located near the vaginal opening.
Closeted
Refers to individuals who conceal or keep their sexual orientation or gender identity secret, often due to fear of stigma, discrimination, or rejection.
Closeted / In the closet
Refers to individuals who conceal or keep their sexual orientation or gender identity secret, often due to fear of stigma, discrimination, or rejection.
Codependency
A pattern of behavior characterised by excessive reliance on and preoccupation with another person’s needs and well-being to the detriment of one’s own. It often involves a sense of low self-worth, difficulty setting boundaries, and an unhealthy need for validation and approval from others.
Coercive Control
A pattern of behavior in which an individual exerts dominance and control over another person through tactics such as intimidation, manipulation, isolation, and deprivation of basic needs. It is a form of abuse that aims to undermine the victim’s autonomy, erode their self-esteem, and maintain power over them.
Comet Partner
A term used to describe a partner who comes in and out of one’s life, often due to geographical distance or other circumstances.
Communication
The exchange of information, thoughts, ideas, and feelings between individuals through various verbal and non-verbal means. It involves actively listening, expressing oneself clearly, and fostering understanding to establish effective and meaningful connections with others.
Compassion
The capacity to show understanding, empathy, and care for the suffering or difficulties of others. It involves a genuine desire to alleviate their pain or provide support, accompanied by kindness, non-judgment, and a willingness to offer assistance or comfort. Compassion involves recognising the shared humanity and interconnectedness of all individuals, and it can contribute to creating a more empathetic and supportive world.
Compersion
In the context of a relationship, it’s s feeling of joy or happiness that one experiences when their partner is happy with another romantic or sexual partner. It’s offen referred to the opposite of jealousy.
Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (Complex PTSD)
A psychological condition that can develop after experiencing repeated or prolonged trauma, such as childhood abuse, domestic violence, or captivity. It is characterised by a range of symptoms including emotional dysregulation, difficulties with self-esteem and self-concept, relational challenges, and disruptions in identity formation.
Confidence
A belief in one’s own abilities, worth, and value. It is a positive and self-assured mindset that allows individuals to approach challenges, interact with others, and pursue their goals with a sense of self-assurance and belief in their capabilities.
Connection
A sense of closeness, resonance, and understanding that exists between individuals. It involves the ability to relate to and empathise with others on emotional, intellectual, or spiritual levels, fostering a mutual sense of belonging and creating meaningful relationships.
Consensual Non-Consent Play (CNC)
A type of role play in BDSM where participants act out scenarios involving non-consensual activities within a pre-negotiated framework of trust and consent. It requires clear communication, established boundaries, and a high level of trust between all involved parties to ensure safety and emotional well-being.
Consent
The voluntary, informed, and enthusiastic agreement to engage in a specific activity or sexual interaction. It is an ongoing process that requires clear communication, mutual understanding, and respect for personal boundaries, and should be given freely without coercion or pressure.
Contraception (Birth Control)
Refers to methods or devices used to prevent pregnancy by interfering with the process of conception or fertilisation. Contraception can be categorized into various types:

Barrier Methods – These methods physically block the sperm from reaching the egg. Examples include condoms (both male and female), diaphragms, and cervical caps.

Emergency Contraception – Also known as the “morning-after pill,” emergency contraception is used to prevent pregnancy after unprotected intercourse or contraceptive failure.

Fertility Awareness Methods – These methods involve tracking and monitoring fertility signs to identify the fertile window and avoid sexual intercourse during that time. This includes methods such as tracking basal body temperature, cervical mucus, or using fertility awareness-based apps.

Hormonal Methods – These methods use synthetic hormones to prevent ovulation or change the lining of the uterus, making it less receptive to fertilised eggs. Examples include birth control pills, patches, injections, and hormonal intrauterine devices (IUDs).

Intrauterine Devices (IUDs) – These small, T-shaped devices are inserted into the uterus and provide long-term contraception by preventing fertilisation and altering the uterine environment.

Permanent Methods – These methods are considered irreversible and involve surgical procedures. Examples include tubal ligation (for women) and vasectomy (for men).

The choice of contraception depends on factors such as effectiveness, convenience, personal preference, and individual health considerations. It is essential to consult with healthcare professionals to discuss the most suitable contraception options based on one’s specific needs and circumstances.
Cosplay
A practice where individuals dress up as characters from movies, books, video games, or other forms of media. It often involves creating elaborate costumes and imitating the mannerisms and appearance of the chosen character as a form of self-expression, creativity, and fandom.
Counselling
A therapeutic process that involves discussing and exploring personal concerns, emotions, and difficulties with a therapist.
Couple’s Privilege
A term used to describe the societal preference for romantic and/or sexual relationships between 2 people, often at the expense of other types of relationships.
Couples Counselling
A form of therapy that focuses on improving communication, resolving conflicts, and enhancing the overall relationship satisfaction between romantic partners.
Couples Therapy
A therapeutic approach that helps couples address and overcome relationship challenges, improve communication, and deepen emotional connection.
Cowboy or Cowgirl
A derogatory term used to describe individuals who enter into non-monogamous relationships without the knowledge or consent of their partners.
Cowgirl Sex Position
A sexual position where the receiving partner straddles and sits on top of their partner, facing them, and takes an active role in controlling the rhythm and depth of penetration. It allows for direct clitoral stimulation and gives the receiving partner a sense of control and empowerment during sexual activity.
Cross-Dressing
The act of wearing clothing typically associated with the opposite gender, often for personal expression, exploration, or entertainment.
Cuffing
A term used to describe the act of seeking out a short-term romantic partner to spend the winter months with, often without any long-term commitment.
Cunnilingus
A sexual activity that involves oral stimulation of the vulva and clitoral area using the mouth, lips, and tongue. It is a form of sexual pleasure and can be a part of foreplay or the main focus of sexual activity, often bringing pleasure and orgasm to the person receiving the stimulation.
Cupiosexual
A term used by individuals who do not experience sexual attraction but still desire to engage in sexual relationships or activities.
Curiosity
A natural inclination or desire to explore, discover, and learn about the world. It involves a genuine interest, open-mindedness, and a willingness to ask questions, seek knowledge, and engage in new experiences
Curved
A term used to describe when someone rejects or ignores the romantic advances of another person.
Cushioning
A term used to describe when someone keeps multiple romantic interests on the back burner as potential backup options in case their current relationship ends.
D
DTR Conversation
A term used when people have a conversation to “Define the Relationship”
Dark Triad
A set of 3 distinct personality traits – narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism. Individuals exhibiting the Dark Triad traits tend to display manipulative, self-centered, and exploitative behaviors, lacking empathy and moral considerations in their interactions with others.
De Facto Relationship
Fefers to a domestic partnership or relationship between 2 individuals who are not legally married or in a civil partnership, but who live together and function as a couple in a committed and domestic relationship. The term “de facto” is often used in legal contexts to recognise and grant certain rights and responsibilities to couples in such relationships, similar to those of married couples. The specifics of what constitutes a de facto relationship can vary depending on jurisdiction and applicable laws.
Dealbreaker
A specific trait, behaviour, or condition that is considered unacceptable or incompatible in a relationship, leading to its termination or avoidance.
Deep Throating
A sexual act in which the receiving partner takes a penetrative object, usually a penis, deeply into their mouth and throat. It requires relaxation, practice, and communication to accommodate the length or girth of the object and can provide intense sensations and a sense of deep connection between partners.
Delayed Ejaculation
A condition in which a person experiences a significant delay or inability to reach orgasm, even with sufficient sexual stimulation. It can be caused by various factors, including physical conditions, medication side effects, psychological factors, or relationship issues.
Demiromantic
A term used to describe individuals who are romantically and/or sexually attracted to people of multiple genders, but not necessarily all genders.
Demisexual
Demisexuality is a sexual orientation characterised by the need for an emotional bond or connection with someone before experiencing sexual attraction or desire towards them. Demisexual individuals may find it difficult to engage in casual sexual encounters or feel attraction towards someone they do not have a strong emotional bond with.
Denial
A defence mechanism characterised by a refusal to accept or acknowledge a distressing reality or truth.
Dental Dam
A thin barrier, usually made of latex or polyurethane, used during oral sex to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Depression
A persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a loss of interest or pleasure in activities. It can affect one’s mood, thoughts, behaviors, and overall well-being. Major depressive disorder, persistent depressive disorder (dysthymia), and other depressive disorders fall under this category. Treatment for depression often involves therapy, medication, lifestyle changes, and support from mental health professionals.
Devaluation
A psychological process wherein a person or thing is suddenly and significantly downgraded in worth, importance, or value, often seen in toxic relationships.
Diaphragm
A contraceptive device inserted into the vagina to cover the cervix and prevent sperm from reaching the uterus, thereby reducing the risk of pregnancy.
Dirty Talk
The use of explicit or sexually suggestive language during intimate or sexual interactions to enhance arousal, express desires, or stimulate erotic imagination. It can range from mild to explicit and is often used to heighten sexual excitement, build anticipation, and facilitate communication between partners about their preferences and boundaries.
Disorganised Attachment
A pattern of attachment in relationships characterised by contradictory and unpredictable behaviors and emotions. Individuals with disorganised attachment may display a mix of avoidant and anxious behaviors, often due to experiencing inconsistent or frightening caregiving in early childhood, leading to difficulties in forming secure and stable relationships later in life.
Dissociation
A defense mechanism that involves a disconnection or detachment from one’s thoughts, feelings, memories, or sense of identity. It can range from mild detachment to more severe experiences of feeling disconnected from reality, often as a response to overwhelming or traumatic experiences.
Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)
A complex psychological condition in which an individual experiences the presence of 2 or more distinct identities or personality states within themselves. These identities may have different characteristics, memories, and behaviors, and the disorder is often associated with a history of severe trauma or abuse.
Divide and Conquer
A manipulative tactic that involves creating conflict or division among a group of people to maintain control or gain power over them.
Doggy Style
A sexual position where the receiving partner is on all fours while the penetrating partner enters from behind. It allows for deep penetration, different angles of stimulation, and a sense of Dominance or submission, depending on the dynamics between partners.
Domestic Violence
A pattern of abusive behaviors within a close relationship, such as intimate partners or family members, where one person seeks to assert power and control over the other through physical, emotional, sexual, or financial abuse. It is a serious issue that can result in physical harm, emotional trauma, and long-term negative effects on the victim.
Dominance
A term used to describe the role in a BDSM relationship or scene where one partner consensually takes on a Dominant, controlling role over the other partner.
Dominance and submission (D/s)
A term used to describe the power dynamic in a BDSM relationship or scene where one partner takes on a Dominant role and the other partner takes on a submissive role.
Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT)
A type of non-monogamous relationship where partners agree not to disclose details about their other relationships to each other.
Douche
A liquid solution or device used for rinsing or cleaning the vagina, typically for personal hygiene purposes.
Drag King
A performer who presents themselves in a stylised, exaggerated manner to portray masculine characteristics and identities on stage.
Drag Queen
A performer who presents themselves in a stylised, exaggerated manner to portray feminine characteristics and identities on stage.
Dry Humping
Engaging in sexual activity or stimulation through rubbing or pressing against each other’s clothed bodies, without penetration.
Dry Orgasm
The experience of orgasm without the release of semen or ejaculate, commonly associated with retrograde ejaculation where semen enters the bladder instead of exiting through the penis.
Dyad
A term used to describe a relationship between 2 people.
Dyspareunia
A medical term used to describe persistent or recurrent pain experienced during sexual intercourse. It can have various causes, including physical factors such as infections, hormonal imbalances, or pelvic conditions, as well as psychological factors like anxiety, trauma, or relationship issues.
E
Eclipsing
A term used to describe when someone takes on the interests or hobbies of their romantic partner to the point of losing their own identity.
Edging
A sexual technique where the person intentionally brings themselves or their partner to the edge of orgasm and then pauses or reduces stimulation to delay the climax. It can build anticipation, intensify pleasure, and prolong the sexual experience before eventually allowing for orgasm and release.
Electro Stimulation (e-stim)
A form of sexual play that involves the use of electrical currents to stimulate the body. It typically utilises specialised devices, such as electrodes or electrically conductive accessories, to deliver controlled sensations and can be used for various forms of erotic stimulation, such as muscle contractions, tingling sensations, or heightened sensitivity.
Embodied Counselling
An approach to therapy that emphasises the connection between the mind, body, and emotions. It recognises the importance of somatic experiences, sensations, and physical awareness in the therapeutic process, utilising techniques that integrate the body into the counseling work to support healing and personal growth.
Emotional Abuse
A form of psychological manipulation and mistreatment where one person consistently uses tactics such as belittling, demeaning, gaslighting, or controlling behaviors to undermine the self-esteem, well-being, and emotional stability of another person. It can leave lasting emotional scars and have profound negative impacts on the victim’s mental health.
Empathy
The ability to understand and share the feelings, perspectives, and experiences of others. It involves the capacity to mentally and emotionally put oneself in another person’s shoes, allowing for a deep sense of connection and compassion. Empathy goes beyond sympathy, as it involves not only recognizing and acknowledging others’ emotions but also genuinely experiencing and resonating with their feelings.
Enabler
A person who supports or enables the harmful behaviours, addictions, or actions of another individual, often inadvertently perpetuating the cycle of dysfunction.
Endometriosis
A condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus, called the endometrium, grows outside the uterus, commonly causing pain, menstrual irregularities, and potential fertility problems.
Enema
A procedure that involves introducing liquid into the rectum and colon through the anus, typically to cleanse or evacuate the bowel or administer medication. Enemas can be performed for therapeutic, diagnostic, or cleansing purposes. They may also be used to clean prior to anal sex.
Erectile Dysfunction
(ED) is a medical condition characterised by the inability to achieve or maintain an erection firm enough for sexual activity. ED can be caused by a variety of physical or psychological factors, and treatment may involve counselling, therapy, medication, lifestyle changes, or other medical interventions.
Erogenous Zones
Are areas of the body that are particularly sensitive to sexual stimulation and can produce pleasurable sensations when touched or stimulated. Erogenous zones may vary from person to person but commonly include the genitals, breasts, nipples, lips, neck, ears, and inner thighs. The stimulation of erogenous zones can be an important part of sexual arousal and can contribute to sexual pleasure and orgasm.
Erotic Blueprint
The Erotic Blueprint is a framework developed by sex and relationship expert Jaiya that aims to understand and categorise individuals’ unique sexual preferences, desires, and turn-ons.

According to the Erotic Blueprint, there are 5 primary erotic types or blueprints:

Energetic – This blueprint focuses on the subtle energy and connection between partners, with a focus on anticipation, sensual touch, and a deep emotional and energetic connection.

Kinky – This blueprint involves a fascination with adventurous and unconventional sexual practices, such as BDSM, power dynamics, role-playing, and exploration of taboo or fetishistic desires.

Sensual – This blueprint emphasises the senses and the enjoyment of physical pleasure, with a focus on touch, taste, scent, and creating a luxurious and pleasurable environment.

Sexual – This blueprint is centered around sexual desire, arousal, and passion, with a focus on intensity, variety, and exploration of sexual activities.

Shapeshifter – This blueprint is characterised by a combination of the other blueprints, with an ability to enjoy and engage in different types of erotic experiences depending on mood, context, and partner.

Understanding one’s erotic blueprint can help individuals and couples explore and communicate their sexual needs, desires, and boundaries, fostering a deeper level of sexual connection, satisfaction, and fulfillment.
Established Relationship Energy (ERE)
It refers to the sense of comfort, stability, and deep connection that can develop as a relationship progresses and matures. ERE is characterised by a sense of familiarity, trust, and shared experiences that contribute to the ongoing strength and fulfillment of the relationship.
Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM Relationship)
A relationship style in which individuals engage in consensual, intimate relationships with multiple partners. It is characterised by open and honest communication, mutual respect, and the shared commitment to ethical and consensual behavior. Ethical non-monogamy can take many forms, including polyamory, swinging, and open relationships.
F
Face-Sitting
A sexual activity in which one partner sits on or straddles the face of their partner, allowing for intimate contact between the genitals or anus and the face. It can provide a range of sensations, including oral pleasure, Domination or submission dynamics, and heightened intimacy and connection between partners.
Facial
The act of ejaculating onto the face of a sexual partner. It is a sexual practice that may be enjoyed by some individuals for its visual and psychological arousal, as well as the potential power dynamics or acts of Dominance and submission that can be associated with it.
Fauxpology
A disingenuous or insincere apology that lacks true remorse or responsibility for one’s actions, often used as a manipulative tactic.
Fawn
In the context of trauma responses, it refers to a survival strategy where an individual seeks to please and appease others to ensure their own safety or acceptance.
Female Ejaculation
Is released through the uretha during sexual stimulation or orgasm in inviduals with vulvas. It often looks like while and watered down.
Feminism
A social and political movement advocating for equal rights, opportunities, and treatment for all genders, challenging and dismantling gender-based discrimination and oppression.
Feminism
A social and political movement advocating for equal rights, opportunities, and treatment for all genders, challenging and dismantling gender-based discrimination and oppression.
Fetish
A sexual fixation or obsession with a specific object, body part, or activity that is not inherently sexual but is seen as necessary for sexual gratification. It is a normal and natural aspect of human sexuality when practiced consensually and without harm to oneself or others
Fight / Flight / Freeze Response
A physiological and psychological reaction triggered by perceived threat or danger. It prepares the body to either confront the threat (fight), flee from it (flight), or become immobile and unresponsive (freeze) as a self-protective mechanism.
Flashing
The act of briefly exposing one’s genitals or other intimate body parts in a public setting without consent, often for sexual gratification or shock value.
Flex / Flexer
A slang term used to describe someone who shows off or brags about their achievements, possessions, or physical appearance.
Fluid Bonding
A term used to describe the practice of intentionally sharing bodily fluids with one or more partners in a consensual and informed manner, often through unprotected sex.
Foreplay
Ssexual activities that are performed before intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration. It includes a wide range of physical and emotional activities such as kissing, touching, caressing, and oral sex that can enhance sexual arousal and lead to more pleasurable and satisfying sexual experiences.
Foreskin
The fold of skin that covers the head of the penis in males who have not undergone circumcision. The foreskin serves a protective role and can contribute to sexual sensation.
Freckling
A term used to describe a summer fling that is expected to end when the summer is over.
Friends with Benefits (FWB)
A type of non-monogamous relationship where friends engage in casual sex with each other without the expectation of a romantic relationship.
Frubble
A term used to describe the feeling of happiness and warmth that arises from seeing one’s partner(s) interact with each other in a positive way.
G
G-Spot
An erogenous zone located inside the vagina on the front wall, known for its potential to produce pleasurable sensations and possibly trigger orgasms.
Garden Party Polyamory
A type of non-monogamous relationship where a group of people engage in sexual and/or romantic activity with each other in an open and consensual manner.
Gaslighting
A form of psychological manipulation where one person systematically undermines the perceptions, memory, and sanity of another person by distorting or denying their experiences, making them doubt their own reality or sanity. It is a tactic used to exert power and control over someone and can have a severe impact on their mental and emotional well-being.
Gay
A term used to describe individuals who are romantically, sexually, or emotionally attracted to people of the same sex.
Gender Expression
The way in which an individual presents their gender to the world through their appearance, behavior, and personal style. It can be a reflection of one’s gender identity and can include clothing, hairstyles, makeup, and other forms of self-expression.
Gender Fluid
A term used to describe individuals whose gender identity shifts and changes over time.
Gender Identity
A person’s internal and deeply felt sense of their gender, which may be different from the sex they were assigned at birth. It is a core aspect of a person’s self-concept and may be expressed in a variety of ways.
Gender Non-Conforming
A term used to describe individuals who do not conform to traditional societal gender norms and expectations.
Gender Stereotype
Preconceived notions or expectations about the roles, behaviours, and characteristics that are considered appropriate for individuals based on their gender.
Genderqueer
A term used to describe individuals who identify outside of the traditional binary gender system of male and female.
Generational Trauma (Historical Trauma or Transgenerational Trauma)
The collective psychological and emotional impact of traumatic experiences that are transmitted across generations. It is the idea that the effects of trauma can continue to affect subsequent generations, even if they did not directly experience the traumatic events themselves. Generational trauma can be passed down through various means, including family dynamics, cultural practices, societal beliefs, and inherited coping mechanisms. It can manifest as increased vulnerability to mental health issues, substance abuse, relationship difficulties, and other challenges. Recognising and addressing generational trauma is important for promoting healing, resilience, and intergenerational well-being within affected communities.
Golden Shower
A sexual activity that involves the act of urinating on oneself or a partner for erotic pleasure or as a form of fetish play. It is a consensual activity that can be explored within the realms of BDSM or alternative sexual preferences with proper communication, consent, and attention to hygiene.
Gonorrhoea (The Clap)
A sexually transmitted infection caused by the bacterium Neisseria gonorrhoeae, typically transmitted through sexual contact, and can cause symptoms such as genital discharge, pain, and inflammation if left untreated.
Gray Rock
A strategy employed to deal with individuals with manipulative or abusive behaviour by becoming uninteresting and emotionally unresponsive, thereby limiting their ability to provoke or exploit.
Gray Romantic
A term used to describe individuals who experience a limited or fluctuating level of romantic attraction or interest.
Gray Sexual (Grey Sexual)
A term used to describe individuals who experience a limited or fluctuating level of sexual attraction or desire.
Groundhogging
A term used to describe the act of repeatedly hooking up with an ex-partner, despite knowing that the relationship is not going anywhere.
Guardrailing
A relationship practice where partners establish and maintain boundaries to protect their emotional well-being and prevent unhealthy behaviours or dynamics.
Guilt
An emotional response that arises from a sense of having done something wrong, violating one’s own moral or ethical standards. It involves feelings of remorse, self-blame, and a desire to make amends for the perceived wrongdoing.
Gynesexual
Refers to individuals who are primarily attracted to women or femininity, regardless of the gender identity of the person.
H
HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus)
A viral infection that attacks the immune system, leading to the progressive weakening of the body’s ability to fight off infections and diseases.
HPV (Human Papillomavirus)
A common sexually transmitted infection that can cause genital warts and increase the risk of various cancers, including cervical, anal, and throat cancer.
Half-Night Stand
A casual sexual encounter that ends before the morning (less than the entire night), typically involving limited emotional attachment or commitment.
Hand Job
Manual stimulation of the penis or vulva by another person’s hand, typically for sexual pleasure or to induce orgasm.
Haunting
A term used to describe when someone who has ghosted a romantic interest continues to interact with them on social media or in other non-personal ways.
Hepatitis A
A highly contagious viral infection that primarily affects the liver, often transmitted through contaminated food, water, or close personal contact.
Hepatitis B
A viral infection that affects the liver and can lead to acute or chronic liver disease, typically transmitted through blood, sexual contact, or perinatal transmission.
Hepatitis C
A viral infection that primarily affects the liver, commonly transmitted through blood-to-blood contact, including sharing needles or other drug paraphernalia, and less commonly through sexual contact.
Herpes
A common viral infection caused by the herpes simplex virus (HSV), typically transmitted through direct skin-to-skin contact, and characterised by recurring outbreaks of painful sores or blisters, usually around the mouth (HSV-1) or genitals (HSV-2).
Heteroflexible
A term used to describe a person who identifies as primarily heterosexual but is open to and may sometimes engage in same-sex sexual behavior or relationships. It is a sexual orientation that falls somewhere between heterosexuality and bisexuality.
Heteronormativity
The assumption, belief, or social system that heterosexuality is the norm or default sexual orientation, marginalising or erasing other sexual orientations.
Hierarchical Relationships
A type of non-monogamous relationship where partners are ranked in order of importance or level of commitment, often with one primary partner and one or more secondary partners.
Hinge
A term used to describe a partner who is involved with 2 or more other partners who are not romantically or sexually involved with each other.
Homophobia
Prejudice, discrimination, or hostility towards individuals who identify as gay, lesbian, or homosexual, based on their sexual orientation.
Hormonal Imbalance
An abnormality or disruption in the levels or functioning of hormones in the body. It can occur due to various factors, such as endocrine disorders, certain medications, stress, lifestyle factors, or underlying health conditions, and may result in a range of physical and emotional symptoms.
Horny
A slang term used to describe a state of heightened sexual desire or arousal.
Hymen
A thin, elastic membrane that partially covers the opening of the vagina in some individuals assigned female at birth, which can vary in shape, size, and flexibility.
Hypersexual
A condition characterised by an excessive or compulsive preoccupation with sexual thoughts, fantasies, or behaviours.
Hypervigilance
A state of heightened alertness and increased sensitivity to potential threats or danger in the environment.
Hypogonadism
A condition characterised by lower-than-normal levels of sex hormones, such as testosterone, leading to various symptoms including reduced sexual function, fatigue, and changes in body composition.
Hyposexual
A term used to describe a lower-than-average level of sexual desire or interest.
Hypovigilance
A state of decreased alertness or reduced sensitivity to stimuli in the environment, often associated with disengagement or withdrawal.
I
IUD (Intrauterine Device)
A small contraceptive device that is inserted into the uterus to prevent pregnancy. It can be hormonal or non-hormonal and offers long-term birth control.
Ick Factor (The Ick)
A feeling of aversion or disgust towards a particular person, behaviour, or situation, often related to personal boundaries or preferences.
Idealisation
A cognitive bias or pattern of thinking where an individual perceives someone or something as perfect, flawless, or superior.
Impact Play
A BDSM activity that involves consensual striking or spanking of the body for erotic or sensory stimulation. It can be done using various implements, such as hands, paddles, whips, or floggers, and is typically carried out within negotiated boundaries and with the explicit consent of all participants involved.
Infidelity (Cheating)
The act of being unfaithful or engaging in a romantic or sexual relationship outside of a committed partnership or marriage. It involves a breach of trust and can cause significant emotional distress and damage to the relationship.
Insecurity
A feeling of uncertainty, self-doubt, or lack of confidence in oneself. It can manifest as a persistent belief of being unworthy, inadequate, or fearful of judgment, often leading to seeking validation from others and experiencing anxiety or self-consciousness in various areas of life.
Intergenerational Trauma
The transmission of trauma-related effects across generations. It occurs when the trauma experienced by one generation, such as war, violence, or oppression, impacts subsequent generations through psychological, behavioral, or social mechanisms. The trauma can affect the psychological well-being, coping mechanisms, and relationships of individuals in later generations, even if they did not directly experience the traumatic event themselves. Intergenerational trauma can manifest in various ways, including through shared narratives, family dynamics, cultural beliefs, and patterns of behavior. Recognising and addressing intergenerational trauma is important for promoting healing and resilience in affected individuals and communities.
Intersex
Describes individuals who are born with physical sex characteristics that do not fit typical male or female classifications. This can include variations in chromosomes, hormones, genitals, or reproductive organs.
Intersex Person
An individual who is born with physical sex characteristics that do not fit typical definitions of male or female.
Intimacy
A close and personal connection between individuals, characterised by emotional vulnerability, trust, and a deep sense of closeness. It involves open communication, mutual understanding, and the ability to share emotions, thoughts, and experiences with one another in a meaningful and authentic way.
J
Jealousy Induction
A term that refers to intentionally or unintentionally provoking feelings of jealousy in a partner through actions or behaviors, often with the aim of exerting control, testing loyalty, or seeking validation in a relationship. It can have detrimental effects on trust, communication, and overall relationship dynamics.
Jock Itch
A common fungal infection that causes an itchy rash in the groin area, typically affecting athletes or individuals who sweat excessively in that area.
K
Kink
A range of sexual practices or activities that are considered non-traditional or unconventional, and may involve power dynamics, role-playing, or fetishisation of particular objects or body parts. These activities are often consensual and can be an important aspect of an individual’s sexual identity and expression.
Kitchen Table Polyamory
A form of polyamory where all partners are comfortable being around each other and interacting as a group, often involving shared meals and social events.
Kittenfishing
A term used to describe when someone presents themselves in a slightly more flattering or attractive way online than they are in real life.
L
LGBTIQA
An acronym that stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer/Questioning, and Asexual/Allies. It is a term used to refer to individuals and communities that identify as part of these diverse sexual orientations, gender identities, and/or who are allies to the LGBTQ+ community.
Labia
The outer and inner folds of skin located on the vulva, the external genitalia of individuals assigned female at birth. The labia majora are the larger, outer folds, while the labia minora are the smaller, inner folds, which can vary in size, shape, and appearance among individuals.
Lap-Sitting Polyamory
A type of non-monogamous relationship where a group of people engage in non-sexual physical intimacy with each other, often sitting on each other’s laps
Lesbian
A term used to describe women who are romantically, sexually, or emotionally attracted to other women.
Libido
An individual’s overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity. It encompasses one’s level of interest, attraction, and motivation to engage in sexual experiences, and can vary among individuals due to factors such as hormones, physical health, psychological state, and relationship dynamics.
Limerence
A term used to describe the intense feelings of infatuation and attraction that often arise at the beginning of a new relationship.
Lithsexual
Individuals who experience sexual attraction but do not desire it to be reciprocated.
Live Sex
A form of sexual performance or interaction that takes place in real-time, typically through live video streaming platforms or in-person settings. This can include activities such as live webcam shows, live performances in adult entertainment venues, or engaging in sexual activities with a partner in front of an audience. Live sex experiences can offer a level of interactivity and immediate engagement, allowing participants to interact with performers or engage in consensual sexual activities in a shared space. It is important to ensure that all participants involved in live sex interactions provide informed consent and that boundaries, privacy, and safety considerations are respected.
Long Distance Relationship
A type of relationship where partners live far apart from each other and often have limited physical contact.
Love Bombing
Refers to an intense and overwhelming display of affection, attention, and affectionate gestures from one person toward another, typically in the early stages of a relationship. It can involve excessive compliments, grand gestures, and constant communication, often with the intention to manipulate or gain control over the targeted individual. For more information, read articles about love bombing
Love Hormones
Also known as bonding hormones, are a group of chemicals in the body that are associated with feelings of attachment, bonding, and affection. Examples include oxytocin, which is involved in social bonding and trust, and dopamine, which is associated with pleasure and reward, both playing important roles in forming and strengthening emotional connections in relationships.
Love Language
The different ways in which individuals express and receive love and affection. The concept was introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his book “The 5 Love Languages.” According to Chapman, there are 5 primary love languages:

Acts of Service – This love language is centered around showing love through helpful actions and acts of service, such as doing chores, running errands, or providing practical support.

Physical Touch – This love language involves expressing and receiving love through physical touch, such as hugs, kisses, holding hands, or other forms of affectionate contact.

Quality Time – This love language focuses on the importance of spending dedicated and uninterrupted time together, engaging in meaningful conversation and shared activities.

Receiving Gifts – This love language involves feeling loved and appreciated through the giving and receiving of thoughtful gifts or tokens of affection.

Words of Affirmation – This love language involves expressing love and appreciation through verbal compliments, kind words, and encouragement.

Understanding and communicating in each other’s love languages can help enhance emotional connection, intimacy, and satisfaction in relationships. Each person may have a primary love language, as well as secondary ones, and it is important to learn and respect the love languages of those we care about in order to strengthen the bonds of love and appreciation.
Love-Life balance
The harmonious integration of one’s romantic relationships and personal life, ensuring that both areas receive appropriate attention and care.
Lube (Lubricant)
A substance used to reduce friction during sexual activities by providing a slippery surface. It can be applied to the genitals, sex toys, or other body parts to enhance comfort, reduce discomfort, and increase pleasure during sexual intercourse or other forms of intimate play.
Lust
Intense sexual desire or craving for someone, often without emotional attachment or deeper feelings.
M
Machivaialism
A personality trait characterised by a manipulative and strategic approach to social interactions, where individuals prioritise their own interests and goals above ethical considerations or the well-being of others. Those high in Machiavellianism tend to be skilled at manipulating others for personal gain and may engage in deceptive or exploitative behaviors.
Malicious Envy
A deep-seated feeling of resentment and ill-will towards someone else’s success, accomplishments, or possessions, often accompanied by a desire to undermine or harm the person who is the object of envy. It can lead to hostile behaviors and negative actions aimed at diminishing or sabotaging the envied individual’s achievements.
Malignant Narcissist
An individual who possesses a combination of narcissistic personality traits and antisocial behavior, often exhibiting a disregard for others, a sense of entitlement, and a lack of empathy. They may manipulate and exploit others for their own gain, engage in controlling or abusive behaviors, and show little remorse for their actions. Malignant narcissists tend to have an inflated sense of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a willingness to use deceit or manipulation to achieve their goals. Their behaviour can cause significant harm to others and negatively impact relationships and social dynamics. (Read narcissist articles)
Marriage Counselling
Counselling specifically designed to help married couples resolve conflicts, improve communication, and strengthen their marital bond.
Masturbation
The act of sexually stimulating oneself, typically by touching or rubbing one’s own genitals, for the purpose of experiencing sexual pleasure and/or achieving orgasm. It is a natural and normal aspect of human sexuality and can be a healthy form of sexual expression.
Menes
A colloquial term referring to menstruation, the regular discharge of blood and other materials from the uterus in individuals assigned female at birth.
Menopause
A natural biological process that marks the end of a person’s menstrual cycles and fertility. It typically occurs in individuals assigned female at birth and is characterised by a decline in hormone production, resulting in various physical and hormonal changes, such as hot flashes, mood swings, and vaginal dryness.
Mental Health
A person’s emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It encompasses how individuals think, feel, and behave, and it affects their ability to cope with stress, relate to others, and navigate daily life. Mental health is crucial at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood. Good mental health is characterized by a state of well-being, positive self-esteem, healthy relationships, and the ability to cope with life’s challenges. Mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, and schizophrenia, can significantly impact a person’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, requiring appropriate diagnosis, treatment, and support. Promoting mental health involves taking care of one’s emotional needs, seeking help when necessary, reducing stigma, and fostering a supportive environment for mental well-being.
Meta (Metamour)
A term used to describe a partner’s partner, with whom they do not share a romantic or sexual relationship.
Microcheating
Engaging in small, subtle acts of flirtation or emotional connection outside of a committed relationship, often without physical infidelity.
Mile-High Club
An informal term referring to individuals or couples who claim to have engaged in sexual activity while aboard an aircraft, typically during a flight.
Mind-Body Integration
The holistic understanding and practice of acknowledging the interconnectedness and interplay between the mind and body. It involves recognising and nurturing the mind-body connection through practices such as mindfulness, meditation, physical activity, somatic practice and self-care to promote overall well-being and balance.
Monocorn
A term used to describe a single person who is interested in joining a pre-existing polyamorous relationship as a third partner.
Monogamy
A relationship style in which an individual has only one intimate partner at a time. It is a common form of romantic and sexual relationship in many cultures and societies.
Motorboating
A sexual act involving placing one’s face between another person’s breasts and making a vibrating or “motorboat” sound by blowing air onto or into the breasts. It is often used as a playful or humorous gesture within an intimate or consensual context.
Multiple Orgasms
Experiencing more than one orgasm during a sexual encounter or within a short period of time.
Mutual Masturbation
Engaging in the act of self-pleasure (masturbation) together with a partner, often as a form of sexual exploration or intimacy.
N
Narcissistic Injury
Emotional or psychological harm experienced by individuals with narcissistic personality disorder when their self-worth is challenged or their vulnerabilities are exposed.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
A psychological condition characterised by an excessive sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. Individuals with NPD often have an inflated sense of entitlement, a preoccupation with their own success and appearance, and difficulty maintaining healthy and meaningful relationships. (Read narcissist articles)
Narcissistic Rage
An intense outburst of anger or aggression exhibited by individuals with narcissistic personality disorder when their grandiose self-image is threatened or criticised.
Nervous System
A complex network of cells and tissues that coordinates and regulates communication and control within the body. It is divided into the central nervous system, consisting of the brain and spinal cord, and the peripheral nervous system, which includes nerves that transmit signals to and from the rest of the body.
Nesting Partners
Individuals in a polyamorous relationship who live together and share a household.
Neural Pathways
Connections formed by neurons in the brain that allow for the transmission of electrical and chemical signals. These pathways enable the flow of information and facilitate various functions, such as sensory perception, motor control, and cognitive processes, by establishing communication between different regions of the brain.
Neurotransmitters
Chemical substances that transmit signals between nerve cells, or neurons, in the brain and throughout the nervous system. They play a crucial role in regulating various physiological and psychological processes, including mood, cognition, memory, and behavior.
New Relationship Energy (NRE)
The feelings of excitement, passion, and infatuation that often arise at the beginning of a new relationship.
Nipple Clamps
BDSM accessories designed to apply pressure or pinch the nipples, providing a mix of pain and pleasure sensations during sexual play. They can enhance sensitivity, create a sense of erotic stimulation, and be adjusted to different levels of intensity depending on individual preferences.
Non-Binary
Is an umbrella term used to describe gender identities that do not exclusively align with the categories of male or female. Non-binary individuals may identify as having a gender identity that is outside of or a combination of these traditional binary options
Non-Hierarchical Polyamory
A form of polyamory where there is no primary or secondary partner, and all partners have equal standing in the relationship.
Non-Hierarchical Relationships
A type of non-monogamous relationship where partners are not ranked in order of importance or level of commitment.
O
Object Constancy
The ability to maintain a consistent emotional connection and perception of someone even when they are physically absent, allowing for stable and secure relationships.
Old relationship Energy (ORE)
The familiar and comfortable feelings that arise in a long-term relationship.
One Penis Policy (OPP)
A term used to describe a rule or agreement in some relationships, particularly in polyamorous or open relationships, where one male partner is allowed to have sexual relationships with multiple female partners, but the female partners are not allowed to have sexual relationships with other men.
Open Relationship
Is a type of consensual non-monogamous relationship in which individuals involved agree to have sexual or romantic relationships with people outside of the primary partnership. The boundaries and agreements within open relationships can vary, but the key aspect is the mutual understanding and consent to pursue connections with others while maintaining the primary partnership.
Open-Casting
A term used in the context of polyamory or non-monogamy to describe the process of actively seeking new partners or connections.
Orbiting
A term used to describe when someone who has ghosted a romantic interest continues to interact with them on social media but does not initiate any direct communication.
Orgy
A sexual activity or event involving multiple people engaging in sexual acts with each other simultaneously. It typically involves a group of individuals who consent to participate in a consensual and sexually charged gathering, often characterised by a free and open approach to sexual exploration and pleasure.
Outing
The act of revealing or disclosing someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity without their consent, potentially exposing them to discrimination or harm.
Ovaries
Female reproductive organs responsible for producing eggs (ova) and female sex hormones, such as estrogen and progesterone.
Ovulation
The release of a mature egg from the ovary into the fallopian tube, typically occurring once a month in individuals with menstrual cycles, as part of the reproductive process.
P
Pansexual
Is a sexual orientation characterised by the potential for romantic or sexual attraction to people of all genders or regardless of gender. Pansexual individuals are attracted to others based on emotional connection, personality, and individual qualities rather than solely on gender.
Parallel Polyamory
A form of ethical non-monogamy where individuals have multiple simultaneous intimate relationships, with each partner being aware of and consenting to the other relationships.
Parasympathetic Nervous System
A division of the autonomic nervous system that promotes rest, relaxation, and restoration in the body. It works in opposition to the sympathetic nervous system, slowing heart rate, promoting digestion, and conserving energy, facilitating a state of calm and balance.
Parentification
A situation where a child is forced to take on adult-like responsibilities or provide emotional support to their parents or caregivers, often resulting in an imbalance of roles and compromised childhood.
Partner
A term used to describe someone with whom one is romantically and/or sexually involved.
Pearl Necklace
The act of ejaculating semen onto a partner’s neck, chest, or breasts, creating a visual resemblance to a necklace made of pearls. It can be a form of erotic or fetish play enjoyed by some individuals, often associated with power dynamics or acts of Dominance and submission.
Pegging
A sexual activity in which a person wearing a strap-on dildo penetrates their partner anally. It involves a role reversal where the receiving partner, typically assigned male at birth, experiences anal stimulation and potential prostate stimulation while the penetrating partner, typically assigned female at birth, takes on an active and penetrative role.
Pelvic Inflammatory Disease
An infection of the female reproductive organs, usually caused by sexually transmitted bacteria, leading to inflammation and potential long-term complications.
Perimenopause
The transitional phase leading up to menopause, during which individuals assigned female at birth may experience hormonal fluctuations and various physical and emotional changes. It can include symptoms such as irregular menstrual cycles, hot flashes, mood swings, and changes in libido.
Period Sex
Engaging in sexual activity during menstruation. It is a personal choice and can be enjoyed by individuals who are comfortable with it, as menstrual blood is a natural part of the reproductive cycle. It can involve various forms of sexual stimulation, including vaginal intercourse, oral sex, or manual stimulation, with precautions taken to maintain hygiene and address individual preferences.
Peyronie’s Disease
A condition in which scar tissue forms within the penis, causing the penis to bend or curve during erections, potentially leading to pain, discomfort, or difficulties with sexual intercourse.
Phubbing
The act of snubbing or ignoring someone in favor of using one’s phone or other electronic devices.
Physical Abuse
A form of violence that involves intentionally causing physical harm or injury to another person, such as hitting, punching, kicking, or other forms of physical aggression. It is a serious form of abuse that can result in physical injuries, trauma, and long-term health consequences for the victim.
Pie Hunting
The act of actively seeking out and pursuing sexual encounters or relationships.
Pink Flags
Subtle warning signs or indications in a relationship or interaction that may suggest potential issues or concerns.
Platonic Life Partner (PLP)
A term used to describe a close friend with whom one shares an emotionally intimate, non-sexual relationship.
Platoniromantic
Individuals who only experience romantic attraction that is not tied to sexual attraction.
Pleasure
A subjective experience of enjoyment, satisfaction, or positive sensations that can be derived from various sources, including physical, emotional, intellectual, or sensory stimuli. It is a fundamental aspect of human experience and can contribute to overall well-being and fulfillment in different aspects of life.
Pocketing
A term used to describe when someone is romantically involved with someone but keeps the relationship hidden from their friends and family.
Poly Family
A group of individuals in a polyamorous relationship who consider themselves to be a family unit, often involving shared living spaces and child-rearing responsibilities.
Poly Pod
A group of individuals in a polyamorous relationship who are all connected to each other romantically and/or sexually.
Polyamory
A consensual non-monogamous relationship style where individuals have multiple loving and intimate relationships simultaneously, with the knowledge and consent of all parties involved.
Polycule
A term used to describe the web of interconnected relationships in a polyamorous group or community.
Polyfidelitous Relationship
A polyamorous relationship where all partners are committed to each other and agree not to pursue sexual or romantic relationships outside the group.
Polygamy
A marital or relationship system in which individuals have multiple spouses simultaneously, often distinguished by cultural or religious practices.
Polysaturated
A term used to describe a situation where an individual has as many romantic or sexual partners as they can handle at a given time.
Polysexual
A term used to describe individuals who are attracted to people of multiple genders.
Polyvagal Theory
Developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, is a framework that explains how the autonomic nervous system responds to stress and social engagement. It highlights the role of the vagus nerve in regulating physiological and emotional states, providing insights into the body’s response to threat, safety, and social connection, and informing approaches to trauma treatment and self-regulation.
Pomosexual
A term used to describe individuals who reject or resist categorising their sexual orientation or identity into existing labels or categories.
Porn Addiction
A compulsive and problematic pattern of excessive consumption of pornography that interferes with daily life and functioning. It is characterised by a loss of control, negative consequences, and an inability to stop or reduce the consumption of pornography despite negative effects on mental health, relationships, or other areas of life.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
A mental health condition that can develop after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. It is characterised by symptoms such as intrusive memories, nightmares, flashbacks, hypervigilance, and emotional distress, which can significantly impact a person’s daily functioning and quality of life.
Post-traumatic Growth
Refers to positive psychological changes and personal development that individuals can experience following a traumatic or challenging event. It involves finding new meaning or purpose in life, gaining a greater appreciation for life, developing stronger relationships, and discovering personal strengths and resilience as a result of the trauma.
Postpartum
Refers to the period following childbirth, typically encompassing the first few weeks to months after delivery. It involves physical, emotional, and hormonal adjustments as the body recovers from pregnancy and childbirth, and can be associated with various experiences such as hormonal shifts, fatigue, mood changes, and adjustment to the new demands of parenthood.
Postpartum Depression
A type of depression that occurs in some individuals after childbirth, characterised by feelings of sadness, exhaustion, and anxiety that can impact their well-being and ability to care for the baby.
Pre-Cum
A clear fluid that can be released from the penis prior to ejaculation, containing some sperm and serving as a lubricant.
Premature Ejaculation
A sexual dysfunction in which a person consistently ejaculates with minimal sexual stimulation and before they or their partner desire it. It is a common condition that can be caused by various factors, including psychological factors, relationship issues, or physiological factors.
Presence
Refers to the state of fully engaging with and experiencing the present moment without judgment or distraction. It involves focusing attention on the here and now, cultivating awareness of one’s thoughts, feelings, and sensations, and allowing for a deeper connection with oneself and the surrounding environment.
Primary Partner
A person who is considered to be someone’s main romantic or sexual partner with whom they are in a committed and intimate relationship. This type of relationship usually involves a deep emotional connection, and the partners typically prioritise each other’s needs and well-being over other relationships or activities. The terms “primary partner” and “primary relationship” are often used in the context of polyamorous relationships, where an individual may have multiple romantic or sexual partners but considers one particular partner as their primary partner.
Pro-Choice
The belief in a person’s right to make their own decisions regarding reproductive health, including the choice to have an abortion.
Progesterone
A hormone produced in the ovaries (and later in the placenta during pregnancy) that plays a crucial role in regulating the menstrual cycle and supporting pregnancy.
Projection
A defence mechanism where an individual unconsciously attributes their own undesirable thoughts, feelings, or qualities onto others.
Prolonged Erection
A persistent erection that lasts for an extended period of time, typically lasting longer than 4 hours and may require medical intervention to avoid potential complications.
Prostate
A small gland located in the male reproductive system, situated just below the bladder and in front of the rectum. It plays a role in producing semen and is involved in sexual function.
Prostate Orgasm (Anal Orgasm)
The experience of sexual pleasure and orgasmic sensations that are specifically derived from stimulation of the prostate gland, which is located within the male reproductive system. The prostate gland is considered a male equivalent of the G-spot and can be accessed through the anus or internally through the rectum. Stimulation of the prostate can be achieved through various methods, such as finger massage, the use of prostate massagers, or during sexual activities like anal penetration. Prostate orgasms are often described as intense and can result in ejaculation or dry orgasm. It’s important to approach prostate play with care, communication, and proper lubrication to ensure comfort and minimise the risk of injury. Consent, relaxation, and communication with your partner are crucial factors for a positive prostate play experience.
Prostatic Fluid
A component of semen that is produced by the prostate gland. It helps nourish and protect sperm, as well as aid in their motility.
Psychological Abuse
Involves a pattern of behaviors aimed at manipulating, controlling, or undermining the mental and emotional well-being of another person. It can include tactics such as gaslighting, humiliation, threats, intimidation, and constant criticism, resulting in profound psychological harm and erosion of self-esteem for the victim
Q
Quad
A type of polyamorous relationship involving 4 people, often with each person having a romantic and/or sexual relationship with each of the others.
Queefing
A natural bodily function that occurs when air is expelled from the vagina, creating a sound that is often described as a “vaginal fart.” It is typically caused by movements or positions that allow air to enter the vagina, and it is not a sign of any underlying health issue or sexual problem.
Queening
A sex move where a women squats over her partners face for oral sex.
Queer
Is an inclusive term that is used to encompass a range of non-heterosexual and non-cisgender identities. It can be used by individuals who identify outside of traditional sexual or gender norms, and is often used as an umbrella term for those who do not fit into specific categories such as gay, lesbian, or bisexual.
Questioning
Refers to individuals who are uncertain, exploring, or in the process of discovering their sexual orientation or gender identity.
Quickie
A brief and spontaneous sexual encounter typically conducted with limited time or privacy. It often involves a condensed version of sexual activity aimed at satisfying immediate sexual desire or urgency, focusing on efficiency and expedience rather than extended foreplay or elaborate setups.
R
Radical Honesty
A concept that emphasizes open and transparent communication, where individuals strive to express their thoughts, feelings, and opinions truthfully and authentically, without filters or pretense. It involves being genuine and straightforward in one’s communication, even if it means discussing uncomfortable or difficult topics. Radical honesty aims to foster genuine connections and build trust through open and direct communication.
Reaching
A term used to describe the act of initiating communication with a romantic interest after a period of no contact.
Reciprosexual
Individuals who only experience sexual attraction when they know that the person they’re attracted to is also attracted to them.
Red Flags
Warning signs or indicators of potential problems or concerning behaviour in a person, situation, or relationship.
Redpill
A metaphorical concept originating from the movie “The Matrix,” referring to the process of becoming aware of and accepting a harsh or unpleasant truth.
Relationship Anarchy
A philosophy that advocates for the absence of predefined relationship structures or hierarchies, emphasising the autonomy and agency of individuals in forming their own unique connections.
Relationship Counsellor
A professional who specialises in helping individuals or couples navigate the challenges and dynamics within their relationships. They provide guidance, support, and therapeutic interventions to promote healthier communication, conflict resolution, and overall relationship satisfaction.
Relationship Smorgasbord
A term used to describe a polyamorous group or community where there is a wide variety of relationship configurations and dynamics.
Resilience
The capacity to adapt, bounce back, and recover quickly from difficulties, challenges, or adversity. It involves the ability to maintain mental and emotional well-being, cope with stress, and navigate through setbacks, ultimately fostering personal growth and strength.
Rimming
A sexual activity involving oral stimulation of the anus and the surrounding area. It can involve gentle licking, kissing, or light sucking, and is often enjoyed for its pleasurable sensations and intimate exploration of the erogenous zones. It is important to practice good hygiene and communicate consent and comfort with a partner before engaging in rimming.
Rizz
A sland term for the ability to captivate or attract a potential romantic partner, particularly through effective verbal communication and charm.
Role Play
Refers to the act of assuming a specific role or character, often in a sexual or intimate context, for the purpose of enhancing fantasy and enjoyment. It involves engaging in scripted or improvised scenarios to explore different roles, power dynamics, and sexual fantasies.
S
Safe-Word
Is a pre-agreed upon word or phrase used during intimate or BDSM activities to communicate a clear signal for stopping or slowing down. It allows participants to indicate discomfort, boundaries being reached, or the need to pause or end the activity, promoting safety, consent, and communication in sexual encounters.
Sapiosexual
Is a term used to describe individuals who are primarily attracted to intelligence or intellectual qualities in others. They may be more drawn to someone’s intellect, conversation, or mental stimulation rather than solely physical or appearance-based attraction.
Scapegoat
A person who is unfairly blamed or targeted for problems, shortcomings, or negative situations, often as a means of deflecting responsibility from others.
Secondary Partner
A person in a polyamorous relationship with whom one shares a lower level of commitment than a primary partner, often with less involvement in each other’s daily lives.
Secure Attachment
A healthy and balanced style of attachment in relationships where an individual feels secure, supported, and confident in their connections with others. People with a secure attachment style generally have a positive view of themselves and others, can effectively communicate their needs, and have a sense of trust and security in their relationships.
Self Determination
Refers to the ability and freedom to make choices and decisions based on one’s own values, desires, and goals, without external coercion or undue influence. It is the sense of autonomy and agency in directing one’s own life and taking responsibility for one’s actions. Self-determination involves having a strong internal locus of control and actively pursuing one’s own path and aspirations, rather than being solely driven by external factors or expectations.
Self Love
The practice of caring for, accepting, and nurturing oneself on a deep and unconditional level. It involves developing a positive and compassionate relationship with oneself, embracing one’s strengths and weaknesses, and prioritising self-care, self-acceptance, and self-compassion. Self-love fosters a sense of worthiness and inner fulfillment, promoting overall well-being and resilience.
Self-Actualisation
The process of realising and fulfilling one’s potential, talents, and personal growth. It is the highest level in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, where individuals strive to become the best version of themselves by pursuing meaningful goals, developing their unique strengths, and aligning their actions with their values and purpose. Self-actualisation involves a deep sense of fulfillment, self-awareness, and the realisation of one’s true identity and potential.
Self-Care
The intentional practice of taking care of one’s physical, mental, and emotional well-being. It involves engaging in activities and behaviors that promote self-nurturing, relaxation, and rejuvenation. Self-care can encompass a wide range of practices, including but not limited to, getting enough rest, engaging in regular exercise, maintaining a healthy diet, practicing mindfulness or meditation, seeking social support, engaging in hobbies or activities that bring joy, setting boundaries, and managing stress. Self-care is essential for maintaining overall health, preventing burnout, and promoting a balanced and fulfilling lifestyle.
Self-Compassion
The practice of extending the same understanding, kindness, and empathy to oneself that one would offer to others. It involves treating oneself with care and compassion in moments of struggle, failure, or pain, recognizing one’s own worthiness and inherent humanity. Self-compassion involves cultivating a gentle and supportive inner voice, embracing imperfections, and nurturing a positive relationship with oneself. It promotes self-acceptance, resilience, and overall well-being.
Self-Conscious
Being excessively aware of oneself, one’s appearance, behavior, or actions, often accompanied by a sense of discomfort, self-evaluation, or self-criticism. It involves a heightened focus on how one is perceived by others, which can lead to self-doubt, social anxiety, or a heightened sense of self-awareness. Being self-conscious can impact one’s confidence and behavior in social settings, as individuals may feel more self-conscious about their actions or appearance.
Self-Esteem
One’s overall evaluation and perception of their own worth, value, and capabilities.
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
A belief or expectation about oneself or a situation that, when held and acted upon, ultimately leads to its own fulfillment. It is the phenomenon where one’s beliefs or expectations influence their behavior and actions in a way that aligns with those beliefs, thereby bringing about the predicted outcome. For example, if someone believes they will fail at a task, their lack of confidence and motivation may lead to subpar performance, confirming their initial belief. Conversely, a positive self-fulfilling prophecy can occur when someone believes in their abilities and takes actions that lead to successful outcomes. The concept highlights the powerful role that beliefs and expectations can play in shaping one’s reality.
Self-Harm
A deliberate and intentional acts of causing physical harm to oneself as a way to cope with emotional distress, pain, or to communicate inner turmoil. It is often a sign of underlying mental health difficulties or challenges in managing emotions. Self-harm can take various forms, including cutting, burning, scratching, or hitting oneself. It is important to recognise that self-harm is a serious and harmful behavior that requires professional help and support to address the underlying issues and develop healthier coping mechanisms. If you or someone you know is engaging in self-harming behaviors, it is essential to seek assistance from mental health professionals or helplines.
Self-Loathing
A strong and intense dislike or hatred directed towards oneself. It involves feelings of worthlessness, shame, and self-criticism. Individuals experiencing self-loathing may have a negative perception of their own qualities, actions, or achievements, often leading to low self-esteem and emotional distress. It is a challenging and harmful state of mind that can impact overall well-being and hinder personal growth. Seeking support from trusted individuals or mental health professionals can be beneficial for addressing and healing from self-loathing.
Self-Reflection
The process of introspection and examining one’s thoughts, emotions, experiences, and behaviors with a deep level of self-awareness. It involves taking the time to deliberately and consciously reflect on oneself, one’s actions, and the underlying motivations and beliefs that drive them. Self-reflection allows for personal growth, learning from past experiences, gaining insights into one’s strengths and weaknesses, and making intentional changes to align with personal values and goals. It is a valuable practice for self-discovery, self-improvement, and developing a greater understanding of oneself.
Self-Regulation
Refers to the ability to manage and regulate one’s own thoughts, emotions, and behaviours in order to achieve desired goals or outcomes. It involves self-control, impulse management, and the ability to adapt and adjust behavior in response to changing circumstances. Self-regulation encompasses skills such as emotional regulation, impulse control, attention control, and the ability to monitor and modify one’s own actions and responses. It plays a crucial role in personal growth, effective decision-making, and maintaining positive relationships.
Self-Respect
A deep sense of worth, dignity, and honor that one holds for oneself. It involves valuing and honouring one’s own beliefs, values, boundaries, and needs. Self-respect involves treating oneself with kindness, compassion, and fairness, while also demanding respect from others. It is the foundation for healthy self-esteem and serves as a guiding principle for making choices and setting boundaries that align with one’s values and well-being. Self-respect is an essential aspect of maintaining healthy relationships and fostering a positive sense of self.
Self-Worth
The subjective perception and evaluation of one’s own value, worthiness, and deservingness, often based on an individual’s beliefs, feelings, and sense of identity. It encompasses a person’s overall self-esteem and self-respect.
Sense of Self
An individual’s subjective and overall understanding of their own identity, beliefs, values, personality traits, and personal characteristics. It encompasses one’s perception of who they are, their place in the world, and their sense of individuality and continuity over time. It contributes to a person’s self-awareness, self-esteem, and their ability to navigate and interact with the world around them.
Serial Monogamy
A type of relationship where an individual enters into a series of monogamous relationships, often with little or no overlap between partners.
Several Night Stand
Engaging in multiple sexual encounters with the same person over a period of time, without a committed relationship.
Sex Games
Activities or forms of play designed to enhance sexual pleasure, exploration, and intimacy between consenting adults. They can involve a wide range of activities, such as role-playing, erotic storytelling, board games, card games, dice games, or using props and accessories. Sex games are often used to introduce novelty, playfulness, and excitement into sexual experiences, and they can help promote communication, consent, and a deeper connection between partners. It’s important to establish clear boundaries, communicate openly, and prioritise consent when engaging in sex games to ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for all participants.
Sex Hormones
A group of hormones that regulate sexual development, reproductive function, and sexual characteristics. In males, the primary sex hormone is testosterone, while in females, the main sex hormones are estrogen and progesterone. These hormones play crucial roles in the development and functioning of the reproductive system and contribute to sexual desire, fertility, and secondary sexual characteristics.
Sex Movies (Adult Films, Pornography, Porn)
Films or videos that depict sexual content for the purpose of sexual arousal or entertainment. They typically feature explicit sexual acts, nudity, and sexual scenarios. Sex movies can vary widely in terms of themes, genres, and styles, catering to different preferences and interests. It is important to note that consuming pornography is a personal choice and may have varying effects on individuals. It is crucial to approach pornography consumption with awareness, critical thinking, and an understanding of ethical and consensual practices. Additionally, it is essential to prioritise consent, engage in open communication with sexual partners, and maintain a healthy perspective on sexual relationships and expectations.
Sex Positions
Various physical configurations or arrangements that individuals can adopt during sexual activity to enhance pleasure and intimacy. There is a wide variety of sex positions, each offering unique sensations and opportunities for exploration. Popular sex positions include missionary, doggy style, cowgirl, spooning, and many more. The choice of sex position can depend on factors such as comfort, desired level of intimacy, physical abilities, and personal preferences. Exploring different sex positions can add novelty, excitement, and variety to sexual experiences, promoting communication, creativity, and pleasure between partners. It’s important to prioritise consent, communication, and the comfort and enjoyment of all involved when engaging in sexual activities and experimenting with different positions.
Sex Room
A designated space or area specifically designed or used for engaging in sexual activities. It can vary in size, layout, and features depending on personal preferences and needs. A sex room can be a private room within a home, a dedicated space in a sex club or dungeon, or a room in a hotel or other adult-oriented establishment. Sex rooms often include furniture, equipment, or props that cater to specific sexual interests, such as bondage gear, sex toys, or various types of furniture designed for sexual activities. It’s important to ensure that any sexual activities that take place in a sex room are consensual, safe, and respectful of all participants’ boundaries and preferences.
Sex Toys
Are devices or objects designed to enhance sexual pleasure and intimacy. They can include a wide range of products, such as vibrators, dildos, anal toys, bondage gear, and more. Sex toys are used for solo pleasure or shared sexual experiences with a partner. They can be made from various materials, including silicone, plastic, metal, or glass, and may offer different features, shapes, sizes, and functions to cater to individual preferences. Using sex toys can add variety, stimulation, and experimentation to sexual activities and can be a positive and healthy part of sexual exploration and pleasure for consenting adults. It is important to choose high-quality toys, follow proper usage and cleaning guidelines, and prioritize consent and communication when incorporating sex toys into sexual experiences.
Sex-Averse
A term used to describe individuals who have a strong aversion or discomfort towards engaging in sexual activities.
Sex-Favourable
A term used to describe individuals who have a positive or favourable attitude towards engaging in sexual activities.
Sex-Indifferent
A term used to describe individuals who feel neutral or indifferent towards engaging in sexual activities and do not have strong preferences or feelings about it.
Sexual Abuse
Any non-consensual or forced sexual activity or behavior inflicted upon an individual without their consent. It can include acts such as rape, sexual assault, molestation, or any other form of unwanted sexual contact or coercion, and it can have profound and lasting psychological, emotional, and physical effects on the survivor.
Sexual Debut
The first occurrence of engaging in sexual intercourse or any other sexual activity.
Sexual Healing
The process of addressing and resolving sexual difficulties, trauma, or challenges through therapeutic interventions, communication, and exploration.
Sexual History
A person’s record or account of their past sexual experiences, including the number of partners, types of sexual activities, and any relevant health information.
Sexual Performance Anxiety
The fear or worry about one’s ability to perform sexually, leading to stress and difficulty in achieving or maintaining an erection, reaching orgasm, or experiencing sexual satisfaction. It can be caused by various factors, including pressure to meet societal expectations, fear of judgment or failure, or past negative sexual experiences.
Sexual Wellness
An overall well-being and positive state of one’s sexual health and experiences. It involves having a healthy and fulfilling sexual life, understanding and respecting one’s own sexual needs and boundaries, practicing safe and consensual sexual activities, and maintaining good physical and emotional sexual health.
Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI)
An infection or disease that is primarily transmitted through sexual activity, including vaginal, anal, or oral sex, and can be caused by bacteria, viruses, parasites, or fungi.
Shame
A deep sense of personal inadequacy or unworthiness often associated with feelings of embarrassment, guilt, or humiliation. It can be triggered by perceived failures, societal judgments, or internalised beliefs, leading to a negative self-perception and a desire to hide or withdraw from others.
Shibari
A form of artistic and erotic bondage that originated in Japan. It involves intricate and decorative patterns of rope tying around the body, emphasising aesthetics, restraint, and the interplay between the ropes and the person being bound.
Shrimping
A slang term used to describe a sexual practice involving the sucking or licking of toes, often as a form of foot fetish play. It can be a consensual and pleasurable activity for individuals who enjoy foot-focused erotic stimulation and can be incorporated into a range of intimate experiences.
Simp
A slang term used to describe a person, usually a man, who goes to great lengths to please or gain favour with someone they are attracted to, often to the point of self-deprecation.
Situationship
A type of non-committal relationship where 2 people are involved romantically or sexually, but without any clear boundaries or commitment to a long-term relationship.
Sixty-Niner (69er)
A sexual position where 2 partners engage in simultaneous oral-genital stimulation, with each person’s head positioned near the other’s genitals. It allows for mutual pleasure and the opportunity to give and receive oral stimulation simultaneously.
Skoliosexual
A sexual orientation characterised by attraction to individuals who identify as non-binary, genderqueer, or gender non-conforming.
Slow Fade
A term used to describe when someone gradually reduces communication with a romantic interest until the relationship fizzles out completely.
Smear Campaign
A deliberate and malicious effort to tarnish someone’s reputation through spreading false or damaging information about them.
Snack
A slang term referring to an attractive person.
Social Anxiety
An intense fear or discomfort in social situations, often accompanied by self-consciousness, excessive worry about being judged, and a strong desire to avoid or escape such situations. It can manifest as nervousness, trembling, rapid heartbeat, or difficulty speaking in social settings. Social anxiety can significantly impact one’s daily life, relationships, and overall well-being, but it can be managed and treated through therapy, self-help strategies, and support.
Soft-Launching
A term used to describe the act of gradually introducing a new romantic partner to friends and family, without making any formal announcements or commitments.
Solo Poly
A a form of polyamory where individuals prioritise their autonomy and independence, and do not necessarily seek to live with or commit to any particular partner.
Somatic Sexology
An interdisciplinary field that explores the intersection of the body, sexuality, and personal growth. It involves a holistic approach to sexual education and healing, focusing on embodied experiences, sensations, and techniques to enhance sexual well-being and empowerment.
Spectra Sexual
A term used to describe individuals who are attracted to individuals across a broad spectrum of gender identities or expressions, beyond the binary categories of male or female.
Squirting
Release of fluid through theuretha during sexual stimulation or orgasm in some individuals with vulvas. The fluid is typically clear and can vary in volume.
Stashing
A dating behaviour where one partner hides or keeps the other partner secret from their friends, family, or social circle.
Stealthing
A term that refers to removing one’s condom during sex with the other’s knowledge.
Stonewalling
A communication behavior where a person withdraws or shuts down during a conflict or discussion, refusing to engage or respond to their partner’s attempts to communicate, often leaving the other person feeling ignored, dismissed, or frustrated. It can hinder effective communication and resolution of issues in a relationship
Strap-on
A sex toy designed to be worn by one partner to simulate the sensation of having a penis for penetrative play. It typically consists of a harness that holds a dildo or vibrator in place, allowing for various forms of sexual stimulation, including vaginal or anal penetration, and can be used by individuals of different genders and sexual orientations.
Submarining
A term used to describe when someone who has ghosted a romantic interest suddenly reappears without explanation or apology.
Submission
A term used to describe the role in a BDSM relationship or scene where one partner willingly surrenders control to the Dominant partner.
Swinging
A type of consensual non-monogamy that involves engaging in sexual activity with other couples or individuals as a form of recreation or socialiasation
Sympathetic Nervous System
The branch of the autonomic nervous system responsible for mobilising the body’s “fight-or-flight” response during times of stress or danger.
Syphilis
A sexually transmitted infection caused by the bacterium Treponema pallidum, often transmitted through sexual contact, and characterised by various stages of symptoms that can affect multiple body systems if left untreated.
T
Tantra
A spiritual and philosophical tradition that originated in ancient India. It encompasses a diverse range of practices and teachings, often involving meditation, breathwork, physical exercises, and ritualised practices, with the goal of attaining spiritual enlightenment, expanded consciousness, and a deep connection with oneself and others. In a modern context, Tantra is sometimes associated with practices and teachings related to sacred sexuality and intimate connection.
Tea Bagging
A sexual act in which one partner, typically with a scrotum, places their testicles into another person’s mouth or onto their face for pleasurable or erotic stimulation. It is often associated with Dominant or submissive roles and can be a part of oral sex or fetish play between consenting adults.
Telemour
A romantic and/or sexual relationship that is conducted primarily over long-distance communication, such as phone or video chat.
Temperature Play
A type of sexual play that involves the use of hot or cold temperatures to stimulate the body and create sensations of pleasure. This can include the use of ice, heated objects, or temperature-controlled materials, applied to different areas of the body during sexual activity to enhance arousal and sexual pleasure.
Texlationship
A romantic or sexual relationship that primarily exists through texting or other forms of online communication.
The Abuse Cycle
The repetitive pattern that can occur in abusive relationships, characterised by a cycle of tension building, an abusive incident, a period of reconciliation or remorse, and a temporary calm before the cycle repeats. This cycle often perpetuates the cycle of abuse and can make it difficult for victims to leave the abusive relationship.
Thirst Trap
A deliberate or enticing social media post intended to attract attention, compliments, or validation from others.
Three Date Rule
The “3 date rule” suggests waiting until the third date before engaging in sexual activity with a new partner, although individual preferences may differ. It emphasises establishing emotional connection and trust before becoming sexually involved, but communication and consent should always guide the pace of a relationship.
Threesome
A sexual activity involving 3 people engaging in sexual acts together. It can take various forms, such as 2 individuals engaging with one person or all 3 individuals interacting with each other, and requires clear communication, consent, and respect for boundaries to ensure a positive and enjoyable experience for all involved.
Throuple / Triad
A polyamorous relationship involving 3 people who are all romantically and/or sexually involved with each other
Thrush
A common fungal infection caused by Candida yeast, often affecting the mouth (oral thrush) or genital area, resulting in discomfort and itching.
Toxic Relationship
A relationship characterized by negative dynamics, harmful behaviors, and an overall unhealthy dynamic that can be emotionally, mentally, or even physically damaging to one or both individuals involved. It often involves patterns of manipulation, disrespect, abuse, or a lack of trust and support, leading to a toxic and unsustainable environment.
Transgender
A term used to describe individuals whose gender identity does not match the sex they were assigned at birth
Transitioning
The process that some individuals undergo to align their physical appearance and/or social gender expression with their gender identity, often involving medical, legal, or social changes.
Trauma
A deeply distressing or disturbing experience that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope.
Trauma Bonding
A complex psychological phenomenon where an individual forms a strong emotional attachment or bond with an abuser or person who has caused them harm. This bond can develop as a result of intermittent reinforcement, manipulation, and a combination of positive and negative experiences, creating a sense of dependency and difficulty breaking free from the abusive relationship.
Trauma Informed Care (Trauma Informed Practice)
An approach to providing support and services that recognises and addresses the impact of trauma on an individual’s well-being. It involves understanding the prevalence and effects of trauma, creating a safe and empowering environment, and adapting practices to promote healing and resilience. Trauma-informed care emphasises the principles of safety, trustworthiness, choice, collaboration, and empowerment. It involves recognising the signs of trauma, avoiding re-traumatization, and integrating trauma-sensitive practices into various settings, such as healthcare, education, social services, and mental health. The goal of trauma-informed care is to promote healing, recovery, and a sense of well-being for individuals who have experienced trauma.
Trust
Trust is a fundamental aspect of interpersonal relationships, defined as the firm belief in the reliability, honesty, and integrity of another person, enabling a sense of security, emotional connection, and mutual reliance.
U
Unicorn
A term used to describe a single bisexual woman who is interested in forming a romantic and/or sexual relationship with a couple.
Unicorn Hunter
A term used to describe a couple who actively seek out a single bisexual woman to join their relationship.
Urinary Tract Infection (UTI)
An infection that affects any part of the urinary system, including the bladder, urethra, ureters, or kidneys. It is typically caused by bacteria entering the urethra and can result in symptoms such as frequent urination, a burning sensation during urination, and abdominal pain.
V
Vaginismus
A condition characterised by involuntary muscle spasms or contractions in the muscles around the vagina, causing discomfort, pain, or difficulty with penetration.
Validation
Refers to the recognition, acknowledgment, and acceptance of someone’s thoughts, feelings, experiences, or identity as valid and worthwhile. It involves providing reassurance, empathy, and understanding to another person, which can contribute to their sense of self-worth, emotional well-being, and validation of their experiences.
Vanilla
Often used to describe conventional or mainstream sexual activities that do not involve elements of kink, BDSM, or other non-traditional practices. It refers to a preference for straightforward and traditional sexual experiences without additional elements of exploration or alternative dynamics.
Veto
A term used to describe a rule in a non-monogamous relationship where one partner has the power to veto another partner’s relationships or sexual activities.
Vibrator
A sex toy designed to provide pleasurable and erotic stimulation through vibrations. It can be used for external or internal stimulation, typically targeting erogenous zones such as the clitoris, vagina, or anus, and can enhance sexual arousal and facilitate orgasms.
Vicarious Trauma (Compassion Fatigue or Secondary Trauma)
The emotional and psychological impact experienced by individuals who are regularly exposed to the trauma narratives or experiences of others. It occurs when individuals, such as healthcare professionals, first responders, or therapists, witness or hear about the traumatic events or suffering endured by others, leading to a significant impact on their own well-being. Vicarious trauma can result in symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), including intrusive thoughts, emotional distress, feelings of helplessness, and a decreased ability to cope with stress. It is important for individuals working in fields where exposure to trauma is common to engage in self-care, seek support, and establish healthy boundaries to mitigate the potential effects of vicarious trauma.
Virginity
The state of never having engaged in sexual intercourse or other sexual activities.
Vulnerability
The willingness to expose one’s true thoughts, feelings, and weaknesses to others, often involving a sense of emotional openness and the acceptance of potential risks or harm. It is an essential aspect of building trust, fostering deeper connections, and allowing for genuine intimacy in relationships.
Vulturing
The act of swooping in or taking advantage of a vulnerable or weakened person, often for personal gain or manipulation.
Vulva
A term used to describe the external female genitalia, including the labia, clitoris, vaginal opening, and other structures. It is an important part of female anatomy involved in sexual pleasure, reproduction, and overall sexual health
Vulvodynia
Chronic pain or discomfort in the vulva, the external genitalia in individuals with vulvas, often without a specific identifiable cause.
W
Wax Play
A form of BDSM activity where heated wax is dripped or poured onto the body of a willing participant for sensory stimulation and erotic pleasure. It can involve different types of candles, temperature variations, and the exploration of different sensations during the wax play experience.
Wheel of Consent
A model developed by sex educator and bodyworker Betty Martin that explores the dynamics of giving and receiving touch and consent. It offers a framework for understanding and navigating different levels of consent and creating clear agreements in relational and intimate interactions.
Whelming
A term used to describe when someone overwhelms a romantic interest with too much attention or information too soon in the relationship.
Wibble
A term used to describe the feeling of unease or jealousy that arises in a non-monogamous relationship.
Wokefishing
A term used to describe when someone presents themselves as more socially aware or politically progressive than they actually are in order to attract a romantic interest.
Y
Yoni
A Sanskrit term that is often used in alternative and spiritual contexts to refer to the female genitalia (vagina). It is a word that carries meanings of sacredness, divine feminine energy, and the creative power associated with the female reproductive system.
Z
Zombieing
A term used to describe when someone who has ghosted a romantic interest suddenly reappears and resumes communication as if nothing had happened.